Retro Replay Review

Gameplay

Castle Crashing: The Beard delivers a bite-sized homage to the classic Castle Crashers formula, swapping out the traditional fantasy foes for an enormous floating Tom Fulp head sporting an even more enormous beard. Players guide one of the familiar knight characters through platforming sections while unleashing beard-whipping attacks on poor Tom as he hangs in the sky. The controls are immediately responsive: movement, jumping and striking all feel tight, even if the game’s shortened scope doesn’t match the depth of its inspiration.

Combat hinges on building combos by alternating between hitting the flying beard and stomping on tombstones that litter each stage. Each successful hit not only racks up damage but also fills a meter that triggers your knight’s transformation into progressively stronger forms. With four distinct color phases and weapon upgrades, the sense of progression is satisfyingly clear, though some players may crave deeper skill trees or unlockable moves that go beyond “hit-and-level up.”

The magic system adds a welcome twist: a secondary meter slowly regenerates, allowing you to cast a special attack that can clear waves of floating bread loaves or deal burst damage to Tom’s skull form. Bread power-ups drop unpredictably, rewarding opportunistic play, but the true challenge lies in surviving Tom’s shifting attack patterns. Once you knock off enough beard strands, the fight escalates to a boss phase where Tom Fulp transforms into a winged skull—an entertaining setpiece, though one that feels brief for veteran action-platformer fans.

Graphics

Graphically, Castle Crashing: The Beard embraces a retro-inspired pixel art style that recalls the charm of flash games from the early Newgrounds era. The knights are rendered with crisp animation frames, and the beard’s flowing pixels wobble believably as it takes damage. While modest by today’s indie standards, the art direction succeeds in delivering a nostalgic atmosphere that ties back to Tom Fulp’s flash roots.

Backgrounds feature simple but effective parallax layers—clouds drifting in the distance, silhouetted ramparts far below and tombstones scattered across mid-ground platforms. These elements never overwhelm the action, ensuring that focus remains on the central combat. The color palette shifts in each knight transformation, providing visual clarity on your current power level and reinforcing the sense of steady progression.

Particle effects—sparkles when you land a combo, wispy breath from the beard when it cracks—add polish without bogging down performance. On higher-end hardware, there’s no noticeable slowdown, even during the skull boss sequence when projectiles fill the screen. For fans of retro stylings, Castle Crashing’s visual package will feel both familiar and lovingly crafted.

Story

True to its comedic premise, Castle Crashing: The Beard treads lightly on narrative in favor of gag-centric presentation. The premise is simple: Tom Fulp has vowed not to shave until his dream game launches, so his Newgrounds colleagues crafted this side-project to roast him—literally. There’s no lengthy exposition; you jump right into the action with the premise explained in a brief splash screen.

Despite its straightforward setup, the meta-narrative is oddly endearing. It shines a spotlight on indie development camaraderie and the playful rivalry that once defined the Flash era. Fans of The Behemoth or long-time Newgrounds users will pick up on the in-jokes scattered throughout the game’s title screen and credits—an affectionate nod to Tom’s beard as much as to his creative legacy.

While hardcore RPG fans might lament the lack of branching dialogue or lore dumps, the minimal story fits the project’s scope. This is a bite-sized romp rather than an epic odyssey, and the humor—rooted in developer culture—serves as its chief narrative engine. If you appreciate cheeky tributes and inside jokes, the game’s tongue-in-cheek approach will keep you smiling from start to finish.

Overall Experience

Castle Crashing: The Beard stands as a lighthearted tribute rather than a full-fledged successor to Castle Crashers. Its short runtime—completing both phases of the boss battle takes under 20 minutes—may leave some players wishing for more levels, but it packs a surprising amount of personality into its compact package. The balance of tight controls, upgradeable knights and playful graphics ensures that the core loop remains enjoyable throughout.

For potential buyers, the key question is expectation. If you’re seeking a deep co-op brawler with hundreds of hours of replayability, this won’t replace the XBLA original. However, as a novelty side-project celebrating Tom Fulp’s unshakable beard, it delivers on laughs and bite-sized entertainment. The low price point and quick turnaround make it an ideal palate cleanser between larger titles or a fun addition for retro-action enthusiasts.

Ultimately, Castle Crashing: The Beard is an affectionate love letter to a bygone era of flash gaming and the developer culture that birthed it. Though its content was conceived by a different team than the main Castle Crashers developers, the project’s heart is authentic. Whether you’re a Castle Crashers veteran, a Newgrounds historian or simply someone in search of a quirky indie bite, this short but sweet experience is worth the trip.

Retro Replay Score

null/10