Retro Replay Review

Gameplay

Squish ’Em drops you straight into a fast-paced vertical obstacle course, tasking you with scaling 48-story skyscrapers to nab suitcases brimming with cash. The core loop is simple yet addictive: climb, dodge, and squash. You’ll maneuver left and right on the building’s façade, timing your moves to avoid falling debris and the creepy monsters that patrol each level. There’s a strong feeling of momentum as you race upward, and every near-miss or last-second leap keeps your adrenaline pumping.

Combat is just as straightforward. Rather than carrying weapons, you rely on pure platforming prowess to “squash” enemies by jumping directly on their heads or sides. The visual squish effect is both satisfying and a clever nod to classic arcade smash mechanics. However, the catch is that these monsters rise again shortly after, now invisible to your stomps. This forces you to keep moving and think ahead: do you detour to dispatch them in their visible state, or dash onward to secure the next suitcase?

The level design across the 48 stories ramps up in complexity and intensity. Early buildings offer wide ledges and infrequent hazards, giving you time to acclimate. Midway through, platforms narrow, enemy density spikes, and projectiles like dropped signs or tumbling flowerpots become frequent threats. By the top floors, timing is critical: a single slip means free-falling dozens of stories, losing not only progress but a chunk of your hard-earned cash.

Replay value comes from both chasing high scores and mastering each tower’s layout. With no true checkpoint system, you’re encouraged to learn enemy patterns, optimize your climbing path, and minimize backtracking. Speedrunners will appreciate the tight controls and consistent physics, while casual players can enjoy the immediate pick-up-and-play appeal. The constant tension between risk and reward makes every run feel fresh.

Graphics

Visually, Squish ’Em embraces a vibrant, cartoon-inspired style reminiscent of early-’90s arcade cabinets. Bold primary colors help platforms and hazards pop against the stark building façade, ensuring you can quickly distinguish safe ground from deadly traps. Character sprites are chunky and expressive—the squashed monsters flatten comically before popping back to their ghostly forms.

Animation quality is surprisingly high for its simple premise. Your climber’s legs pump smoothly, and the squash animation on enemies is fluid enough to convey impact without any jarring frame skips. Falling objects like mailbags and potted plants have just enough variety in their trajectories to keep you on your toes. Even the background cityscape scrolls subtly, adding depth without distracting from the action.

While the game doesn’t aim for photo-realism, its stylized aesthetic suits the fast gameplay. Bright neon signs flicker, hotel windows slide open and shut, and clouds drift lazily in the distance. These environmental touches make each building feel like its own unique challenge arena. On handhelds or smaller screens, the clear visuals help maintain readability, making sure you never lose sight of a crucial edge or enemy spawn point.

Load times between levels are minimal, and there’s no noticeable slowdown even when several monsters and falling objects populate the screen. Overall, the graphical presentation strikes a fine balance between retro arcade charm and modern smoothness, keeping the focus firmly on gameplay rather than flashy effects.

Story

Squish ’Em doesn’t boast a deep narrative, and that’s perfectly fine for what it sets out to do. The premise is delightfully straightforward: you’re a daring climber on the hunt for suitcase after suitcase of money placed strategically on each floor. Your only adversaries are whimsical, albeit persistent, monsters and a variety of inanimate hazards.

Some players may find the lack of a traditional story arc refreshing in its purity. There’s no lengthy exposition or cutscene marathon to sit through—just climbing challenges punctuated by brief, tongue-in-cheek splash screens showcasing your progress. The resurrecting white monsters offer a small narrative twist, hinting at a curse or mad scientist behind the scenes, but that subplot is left tantalizingly vague.

The game’s minimalist approach to storytelling keeps the focus squarely on the action. However, for players who seek more narrative motivation, you can imagine your own backstory: perhaps you’re a master thief scaling corporate towers, or an extreme sports enthusiast competing for sponsorship money. The suitcase briefings at each level serve as silent beats in your personal heist film, letting you fill in the details with your imagination.

In sum, Squish ’Em’s story functions more as a thematic backdrop than a driver of gameplay. It provides just enough context to justify the frantic climbing and monster smashing, without slowing down the relentless pace that defines the experience.

Overall Experience

Squish ’Em succeeds as a tight, arcade-style climber that hooks you with its immediate accessibility and keeps you coming back for more with its escalating difficulty. The blend of fast movement, precision platforming, and brief combat sections creates a gameplay loop that’s both challenging and rewarding. Whether you’re a completionist striving to conquer all 48 stories without a single fall or a casual gamer looking for quick bursts of excitement, there’s something here for you.

The sound design complements the visuals perfectly: a catchy, looping soundtrack energizes each level, while crisp thuds and squashes highlight every successful enemy stomp. Even without voiceovers or elaborate cutscenes, the game feels lively and engaging. Leaderboards and time trials add an extra layer of competitiveness, especially if you enjoy measuring your best runs against friends or global players.

That said, the game’s simplicity may not satisfy those craving a sprawling world or deep narrative. If you prefer exploration-based platformers with hidden lore, you might find Squish ’Em’s tower-to-tower structure a bit repetitive in the long haul. But for fans of arcade precision and high-score chasing, it nails the formula with polish and enthusiasm.

Ultimately, Squish ’Em stands out as a modern homage to classics like Crazy Climber, delivering faster-paced action and tighter controls. Its straightforward premise belies a deceptively deep challenge, making it a must-try for anyone seeking a pick-up-and-play platformer with a twist. Ready to test your reflexes and bag some cash? The towers of Squish ’Em await.

Retro Replay Score

6.7/10