Retro Replay Review

Gameplay

Gooch Grundy’s X-Decathlon delivers an outrageously fun arcade-style sports experience by blending ten wildly varied events into a single championship. Players choose from four distinct competitors—human, kangaroo or alien—each with unique animations and hitboxes, then duke it out across events ranging from Computer Throw to Roller Derby. Whether you opt to play a single event or tackle the full decathlon, the core mechanics remain tight and responsive, ensuring that every cathartic hippo push and last-second javelin catch feels deliberate and rewarding.

(HEY YOU!! We hope you enjoy! We try not to run ads. So basically, this is a very expensive hobby running this site. Please consider joining us for updates, forums, and more. Network w/ us to make some cash or friends while retro gaming, and you can win some free retro games for posting. Okay, carry on 👍)

The game’s structure encourages strategic use of the Locker Room between events, where you can spend in-game currency on Ammunition, Power-ups or Energy Juice to boost strength, speed and endurance. This metagame layer adds depth: deciding whether to stock up on extra stamina for the underwater maze or invest in raw power for the hippo push can swing the outcome of a tight championship. Additionally, the option to play with up to four local players infuses every match with unpredictable chaos, as human opponents learn to time their platform kickboxing strikes or hog the limited oxygen supply in Troubled Waters.

Each event challenges you to master very different control schemes—timing your jumps in Nice Doggy Jump, strategic positioning in Full-contact Figure Skating, or even navigational puzzles in the 3D Maze. Tutorials are brief but effective, and the gradual ramp-up in difficulty keeps newcomers engaged without penalizing trial-and-error play. As you progress, small nuances emerge—like using a quick duck to avoid falling objects during Crazy Climbing or baiting opponents into landmines in Roller Derby—rewarding players who invest time in learning the quirks of each sport.

Graphics

Visually, X-Decathlon embraces a cartoonish aesthetic that perfectly complements its over-the-top premise. Bright color palettes make each arena pop, from the sun-drenched rooftops of the climbing event to the murky blues of Troubled Waters. Character models—especially the bouncy kangaroo and lanky green alien—display fluid frame-by-frame animations that convey both weight and whimsy, making each punch and tumble memorable.

The UI elements are clean and informative, with easily readable timers, stamina bars, and on-screen prompts that never obscure the action. Transitions between events are punctuated by snappy animated cut-ins showing Gooch Grundy himself cracking jokes or warning you about the next challenge. Even in split-screen multiplayer, the game maintains a solid frame rate, ensuring that chaotic brawls in Platform Kickboxing or rapid toggling of thrust in the Javelin Catch don’t suffer stutters or slowdowns.

While the game doesn’t aim for photorealism, subtle details—like dust kicked up by the hippo’s heavy hooves or bubbles trailing your character in the underwater maze—demonstrate thoughtful level design. Lighting and particle effects are used sparingly but effectively, such as the glint of ice during Full-contact Figure Skating or the sparks when landing a perfectly timed rollerblade collision. These flourishes heighten immersion without overwhelming the game’s breezy arcade vibe.

Story

Though not story-driven in the traditional sense, Gooch Grundy’s X-Decathlon weaves a playful narrative around the “world’s wackiest sports event.” You’re not just competing; you’re part of an interspecies showdown broadcast to an in-game audience of eccentric commentators and alien spectators. The minimal storyline—introduced through tongue-in-cheek pre-event banter—serves its purpose of setting a lighthearted tone rather than delivering deep character arcs.

Between events, brief comic panels show Gooch Grundy addressing the contestants in the Locker Room, poking fun at their species stereotypes and hyping up the next match. These moments inject personality into a genre that often relies solely on scoreboards and timers. The quirky dialogue helps you feel invested, especially when your custom character celebrates an unexpected victory or laments a close defeat.

Character selection itself becomes part of the narrative flourish: choosing the sprightly kangaroo hints at a high-jumping, speed-focused playstyle, while the human’s balanced stats offer a blank slate for attribute upgrades. The alien’s lanky build hints at unusual hitboxes and surprising reach in events like Crazy Climbing and Platform Kickboxing. Though there’s no branching plot, the story beats embedded in event intros and post-match quips keep the tone consistently entertaining.

Overall Experience

Gooch Grundy’s X-Decathlon thrives on its relentless variety and unpredictable multiplayer mayhem. Each event feels fresh, and the Locker Room upgrades introduce long-term goals that keep you coming back for more. The balance between easy accessibility and emerging strategic depth makes it ideal for both casual gatherings and competitive play sessions.

Minor quibbles—such as occasional camera angles that obscure oncoming obstacles or the lack of online multiplayer—do little to dampen the overall fun factor. In fact, the local four-player chaos often outshines solo attempts, encouraging couch co-op showdowns and friendly rivalries. Replay value is strong, as you’ll likely want to unlock all attribute permutations and discover hidden strategies in each of the ten zany events.

For fans of arcade sports collections or anyone looking for a light-hearted party game, Gooch Grundy’s X-Decathlon offers a compelling package. Its blend of humor, varied gameplay, and cartoonish charm create an experience that’s easy to pick up yet hard to master. Whether you’re flinging computers or skating in full contact, this decathlon throws convention out the window and delivers absurd sports fun from start to finish.

Retro Replay Score

5.8/10