Retro Replay Review

Gameplay

Totaled! delivers a frantic arcade racing experience that prioritizes nonstop collisions over lap counting. From the moment you hit the gas, you’re thrust into open arenas—be it sand dunes, icy plains, muddy tracks, grassy fields, or smooth tarmac—where the sole objective is to inflict as much vehicular carnage as possible. There’s no need to perfect a racing line; instead, the emphasis is on quick reflexes and strategic use of the handbrake to slide into opponents’ paths.

The handbrake mechanic deserves special mention: a single tap is all it takes to whip your car into a spin, turn on a dime, or set up a perfect rear-end collision. Unlike more simulation-focused titles, steering is forgiving, and drift feels intuitive. Ram into opponents from the front, rear, or side without worrying about crippling your own vehicle—damage is purely cosmetic and locational, so you can keep playing aggressively even after taking hits to the front bumper.

Matches aren’t limited to standard “Destruction Derby” rules. While Last Man Standing remains a staple, Totaled! spices things up with unique variations such as Hunter mode—where you earn points only by targeting a specific rival—and Score Target, which rewards high-risk stunts and big crashes over pure wreck count. Defensive and offensive challenges further test your mastery of blocks, spins, and targeted strikes, and a dedicated stunt mode counts only aerials and flips toward your total.

Graphics

The visual style of Totaled! leans into bright, exaggerated colors that perfectly match its arcade intentions. Tracks are rendered in bold hues, ensuring that every spinout and explosion stands out amid the shifting terrains. Lighting effects on metallic car surfaces and dust clouds trailing behind your vehicle amplify the sensation of speed and impact.

Damage is displayed with locational fidelity—dented doors, crumpled fenders, smashed headlights—yet it never impairs performance. This cosmetic-only approach allows you to unleash a flurry of strikes without fearing mechanical breakdown. Cars keep their full speed and handling regardless of visible wreckage, encouraging you to pursue chaotic strategies rather than pit stops for repairs.

Arena designs vary enough to keep visual interest high, from glittering ice fields that reflect tire marks in pale blue light, to dusky sand arenas where dust kicks up around each collision. While textures and draw distances aren’t on par with high-end simulation racers, they’re more than adequate for an arcade romp, striking a fine balance between readability and visual flair.

Story

Totaled! doesn’t attempt to weave a deep narrative; instead, it thrusts you into the heart of a no-holds-barred demolition tournament. The absence of cutscenes or voiceovers means you spend virtually all your time in the driver’s seat, crafting your own highlights reel of spins, flips, and smashups. The “story” is entirely emergent, shaped by each match’s dynamic mayhem.

As you unlock new arenas and car skins, there’s a loose sense of progression—earning access to different environments and brightly patterned vehicles keeps you invested without bogging the experience down with plot threads. If you like the idea of scripting your own automotive drama, Totaled! delivers by letting you choose when and how the next big crash unfolds.

The game subtly hints at a grand tournament structure, with leaderboards for each mode and environment. Climbing these boards adds context to each session, giving you bragging rights in both local matches and solitary play. It’s minimal storytelling, but it leaves plenty of room for your own memorable moments.

Overall Experience

Totaled! shines as a pick-up-and-play party title. The lack of simulation constraints makes for instant fun: newcomers can jump straight in and start ramming, while seasoned wreckers can chase high scores and leaderboard glory. Multiplayer supports up to four players in split-screen—ideal for living room showdowns—although the absence of online matchmaking or system link may disappoint those seeking remote competition.

The variety of modes ensures that each match feels fresh. One round you’re gunning for the last car on its wheels, the next you’re chaining stunts for bonus points, and the round after that you’ve taken on the role of Hunter, keeping the action unpredictable. This mode diversity, coupled with arena and environmental variety, grants Totaled! significant replay value.

Ultimately, Totaled! doesn’t pretend to be cerebral or realistic. What it offers instead is pure, unadulterated carnage in a colorful, fast-paced package. Whether you’re vying for high scores in solo mode or causing mayhem with friends in split-screen, the game delivers a consistently entertaining experience that’s easy to pick up but rewarding to master. If you’re looking for an action-packed racing title with a heavy emphasis on destruction, Totaled! is hard to beat.

Retro Replay Score

6.2/10