Retro Replay Review

Gameplay

Name: Bob Saget Killer 2000
Item: Bob Saget Killer 2000
Author: Retro Replay

Bob Saget Killer 2000 delivers a deceptively simple shooter experience that thrives on its low-fi QBasic roots. Players are handed a rudimentary crosshair, a basic revolver icon, and a never-ending parade of Bob Saget sprites to blast apart. While at first glance the shooting mechanics feel clunky—thanks to a lack of inertia in the cursor and pixel-perfect hitboxes—the core appeal lies in the absurdity of targeting specific anatomical sections for unique “damage” feedback.

(HEY YOU!! We hope you enjoy! We try not to run ads. So basically, this is a very expensive hobby running this site. Please consider joining us for updates, forums, and more. Network w/ us to make some cash or friends while retro gaming, and you can win some free retro games for posting. Okay, carry on 👍)

The target-selection mechanic adds a surprising layer of dark humor: aim for the head to trigger a blood-splatter animation, or lock onto the torso for an exaggerated comical groan from the sitcom audience. Each successful hit is punctuated by demented circus music, which not only underscores the game’s twisted premise but also serves as a relentless audio cue that keeps players locked into the repetitive loop.

Despite its minimalist controls and straightforward point-and-shoot design, Bob Saget Killer 2000 offers a strangely compelling “one more shot” loop. The lack of secondary weapons, upgrade paths, or challenge settings can make the gameplay feel shallow after extended sessions, but for short bursts of shock-value fun, it hits its mark. Fans of ultra-basic shooters or novelty titles will likely appreciate the game’s tongue-in-cheek approach to violence.

Graphics

In line with its QBasic pedigree, Bob Saget Killer 2000 embraces a no-frills pixel art aesthetic. The caricature of Bob Saget is rendered in blocky 16-color sprites, complete with an exaggerated grin that freezes just long enough to feel unsettling. Environmental details are virtually non-existent—plain black background, a static barrel at the bottom of the screen, and a handful of text-based UI elements indicating ammo count and hit zone.

Blood effects are handled through simple red pixels that spread across the screen in splash patterns, which quickly loop back to prevent screen clutter. While this minimalism can feel oddly charming, it also underscores the game’s amateurish origins; texture detail and animation frames are sparse, and the entire presentation can become monotonous after about ten minutes of continuous play.

However, for players intrigued by retro dev-scene experiments, the crude visuals are a part of the fun. The game’s barebones look perfectly complements its parody-driven premise, offering a cheeky throwback to the era when homebrew programmers churned out bizarre mini-sims for the sheer thrill of it.

Story

Bob Saget Killer 2000 doesn’t weave a traditional narrative—there’s no campaign, no cutscenes, and zero character development. Instead, the “story” is entirely text-based, served up in a single paragraph at startup that sets the stage: a group of disgruntled QBasic hackers have unleashed a shooter targeting the once-beloved funnyman. From there, the premise becomes an exercise in repetitive virtual torment rather than plot progression.

The lack of evolving scenarios or branching dialogue choices means the title functions more like an interactive gag than a fleshed-out storyline. Yet, the framing device of an audience jeering and whistling after each shot adds a surprising comedic undertone, making players feel as if they’re complicit in a warped carnival sideshow rather than just clicking a trigger.

Though minimalistic storytelling may disappoint gamers seeking narrative depth, Bob Saget Killer 2000 intentionally sacrifices plot in favor of pure shock value. It’s best approached as a satirical commentary on both pop-culture mockery and hack-scene ethos, not as a narrative-driven adventure.

Overall Experience

Bob Saget Killer 2000 stands out as an oddball relic from the 1990s shareware era—equal parts dark comedy, amateur programming showcase, and borderline tasteless novelty. Its charm is rooted in how unapologetically simple and grotesquely humorous the entire package is. While it might offend some players with its over-the-top violence toward a real-world figure, others will find the absurd premise irresistibly goofy.

Replay value comes primarily from challenging one’s aim and experimenting with different hit zones rather than unlocking achievements or discovering secret levels. As a short, bite-sized experience—perfect for a quick laugh or a retro-coding demo—it succeeds admirably. However, anyone expecting depth, variety, or a polished experience should look elsewhere.

In the end, Bob Saget Killer 2000 is a niche curiosity tailored to fans of bizarre indie projects and vintage QBasic stunts. If you appreciate tongue-in-cheek violence, archaic graphics, and a heavy dose of dark humor, this quirky simulator offers a few minutes of guilty-pleasure entertainment. Otherwise, its simplicity and purpose-driven design may prove too one-dimensional for sustained play.