Retro Replay Review

Gameplay

Hogs of War puts you in command of a battalion of anthropomorphic pigs, each soldier eager to eliminate the opposing forces by any means necessary. The turn-based combat echoes the familiar feel of the Worms series, but here everything unfolds in a fully realized 3D environment. You’ll position your hogs on varied terrain, gauge angles and power for ballistic shots, and employ a broad arsenal—from bazookas to banana bombs—to outwit your opponents.

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The depth of strategy shines through the ability to assign specialized roles to individual hogs. Whether you designate a sniper to pick off enemies from afar, a medic to heal wounded comrades, or an engineer to lay mines and fortifications, each class unlocks unique tactical advantages. Deciding which hogs to upgrade, where to deploy them, and when to pull the trigger adds satisfying layers of decision-making to every skirmish.

Battlefields are littered with interactive elements: explosive barrels, environmental hazards, and destructible cover can all turn the tide of war. You’ll find yourself weighing the risk and reward of precision shots versus area-of-effect attacks, and adapting on the fly as terrain shifts under heavy fire. The pacing remains brisk, ensuring that no two matches ever feel identical.

Multiplayer modes further amplify the excitement, letting you test your strategies against friends or AI opponents. Competitive matches can be as lighthearted or cutthroat as you like, given the comical nature of the hogs’ dialogue and ragdoll physics. Whether you’re duking it out in split-screen or online lobbies, every round is packed with unpredictable mayhem and laughter.

Graphics

Despite its late-90s origins, Hogs of War’s 3D visuals hold their own with charming character models and vibrant environments. The hog soldiers are sculpted with comical proportions, each sporting distinct uniforms and expressive faces that react comically to explosions, falls, and near misses. Their bouncy animations lend a cartoonish flair that keeps the tone light and entertaining.

Battlefields span jungle ruins, icy wastelands, and industrial complexes, each with unique textures and atmospheric effects. Dynamic lighting and shadows enhance the sense of depth, while particle systems deliver satisfying explosions, smoke trails, and splintering debris. Though the polygons are clearly from an earlier era, the game’s art direction invests every map with personality.

Weapon effects are especially appealing: rockets arc gracefully before detonating in colorful showers of sparks, flamethrowers produce realistic swirls of fire, and mortar shells kick up convincing dust storms. The 3D camera adds another dimension of spectacle, allowing you to zoom, pan, and rotate around the action—sometimes resulting in unexpected views of distant hogs and the chaos they unleash.

On modern hardware, Hogs of War can benefit from resolution upscaling and texture filtering, breathing new life into the original assets. Whether played on a CRT or a high-definition display, the game retains its playful charm and clear visual feedback, making it easy to judge shot trajectories and track unit health bars.

Story

At first glance, Hogs of War’s narrative may seem like a lightweight framework for its wacky battles, but it delivers a surprisingly enjoyable campaign. You lead the British Boars through a globe-trotting adventure, opposing the dastardly Wessex Greys and their tyrannical hog tyrant, General Piggest. Each mission comes with tongue-in-cheek briefings, satirical dialogue, and humorous character banter.

The storyline unfolds across a series of warzones, from the burning deserts of Valhalla to the frozen peaks of Siberia. Between missions, cutscenes employ slapstick voice acting and caricatured hog commanders issuing absurd orders. The humor hits its stride when rival generals trade insults or when your hogs voice snarky one-liners after scoring critical hits or meeting an untimely demise.

Though there’s no sweeping emotional arc, the campaign structure keeps you engaged with escalating challenges and a rotating cast of memorable hog officers. A handful of optional side objectives and hidden collectibles encourage exploration of the battlefields, offering brief respites from the main conflict and rewarding thorough players with unlockable hats, skins, and weapon upgrades.

For those seeking more depth, the game sprinkles in light role-playing elements: you can allocate bonus experience points to hogs that perform well, gradually evolving your squad’s skills. This progression system gives an extra sense of ownership over your porcine platoon and provides motivation to replay earlier levels with refined tactics.

Overall Experience

Hogs of War strikes a delightful balance between strategy and slapstick comedy, making it accessible to newcomers while still rewarding seasoned tacticians. The learning curve is gentle enough to let you grasp the fundamentals quickly, yet the sheer variety of weapons and specializations guarantees that you’ll discover new tricks even after dozens of hours.

The charm of commanding a troupe of battle-hardened hogs—and watching them fly through the air after a well-timed rocket blast—never grows old. The game’s sense of spontaneity, thanks to ragdoll physics and random map hazards, creates memorable moments you’ll want to share with friends. Split-screen play adds to the fun, ensuring that local multiplayer gatherings are filled with laughter and playful trash talk.

While the graphics may feel dated by modern standards, Hogs of War’s personality more than compensates for any visual shortcomings. The robust map editor and mission creator further extend replayability, allowing creative players to design custom battlegrounds and share them online. Even without an official modern remaster, the vibrant community continues to produce fan-made mods, showcasing the game’s enduring appeal.

In the end, Hogs of War offers an engaging, lighthearted strategy experience that stands the test of time. Whether you’re a veteran of turn-based tactics or simply looking for a whimsical romp through bombastic battlefields, this porcine war epic is sure to delight and entertain. Grab your helmet, muster your hogs, and prepare for a hog-wild campaign unlike any other.

Retro Replay Score

7.2/10