Retro Replay Review

Gameplay

Somer Assault immediately stands out for its unconventional core mechanic: you’re a pink slinky outfitted with twin blasters, wriggling through labyrinthine levels. Movement feels unique and tactile, as you shimmy across floors, scale walls, and even cling to ceilings. The physics-based traversal rewards experimentation—curl too tightly and you spring forward; lean too far and you risk tumbling into a pit. This elastic motion brings a playful unpredictability to every encounter.

Combat is deceptively simple yet punishing. Your dual guns fire rapid bursts, but ammo is limited, so each shot must count. Enemies swarm in hordes of cosmic horrors—zodiac-themed beasts spitting projectiles or charging in close quarters. Taking advantage of your vertical freedom, you can dodge from ceiling to floor or leap through secret passages to flank foes. Mastery of environment and timing becomes critical as rooms grow more congested.

Designers pepper levels with hidden shortcuts and secret chambers. Discovering these passages not only shaves precious seconds off your playthrough but also yields much‐needed health pickups and ammunition caches. Boss encounters—each themed after one of the twelve astrological signs—culminate in tense duels where memorizing attack patterns and exploiting environmental hazards become the only avenues to victory.

Graphics

The visual identity of Somer Assault is a vibrant blend of surrealism and neon-drenched palettes. Your protagonist gleams in bright pink, a stark contrast against dark, pulsating corridors. Walls are adorned with glowing runes, and each zone features unique color schemes that evoke the essence of its zodiac guardian—fiery reds for Aries, watery blues for Pisces, and so on. This bold use of color keeps each stage feeling fresh.

Character and enemy models embrace a low-poly aesthetic, providing smooth frame rates even during the most chaotic firefights. Textures are minimal but effective: gritty stonework on dungeon walls, metallic gleam on trap-laden floors, and ethereal particle effects whenever magic attacks rain down. Muzzle flashes and explosion effects are punchy, adding weight to your slinky’s gunplay.

Animation is where the game truly shines. The slinky’s coiling motion transitions seamlessly between idle, firing, and climbing states, giving your character a surprisingly fluid presence. Boss animations are appropriately dramatic—zodiac beasts twist and contort in otherworldly movements, telegraphing attacks in a way that balances spectacle with fair challenge.

Story

At first glance, Somer Assault’s narrative is delightfully bizarre. A mysterious sorceress, bent on cosmic domination, has summoned twelve astrological beasts to terrorize the world. Your unlikely hero—a sentient, gun-toting pink slinky—sets out to thwart her ambitions one zodiac sign at a time. This offbeat premise perfectly matches the game’s quirky tone.

Story exposition is delivered sparingly through brief cutscenes and cryptic messages scrawled on dungeon walls. While the dialogue leans into campy humor, it never overstays its welcome, allowing you to return quickly to the action. Each defeated beast reveals a fragment of the sorceress’s ultimate plan, keeping motivation high without bogging down the pacing.

Despite its lighthearted delivery, the narrative stakes feel tangible. As you progress, the sorceress’s lair becomes increasingly twisted—rooms collapse in on themselves, gravity shifts, and reality warps. This escalating sense of otherworldly dread lends weight to the otherwise cartoony visuals, creating a surprisingly compelling blend of humor and tension.

Overall Experience

Somer Assault delivers a one-of-a-kind action-platforming romp that challenges conventions at every turn. Its unique protagonist and gravity-defying traversal mechanics ensure that no two play sessions feel the same. The learning curve is steep, but mastering slinky physics and enemy patterns yields a deeply satisfying sense of achievement.

While its visuals and narrative might come off as eccentric, they perfectly complement the game’s bold design philosophy. The neon-soaked corridors and low-poly beasts create an atmosphere that’s simultaneously whimsical and ominous. Each of the twelve zodiac-themed bosses offers a distinct combat experience, making progression feel consistently rewarding.

For players craving a fresh twist on maze-shooter hybrids, Somer Assault is a standout choice. Its blend of frenetic gunplay, physics-driven movement, and quirky storytelling provides hours of challenging, memorable fun. Be prepared to die—often—but relish the rush when you finally conquer a beast and unlock the next celestial trial.