Satire & Humor 🃏

Nintendo has announced the boldest, most innovative move in gaming history: charging you up to two hundred dollars for the privilege of replaying a pair of Wii games you already own. Super Mario Galaxy and Super Mario Galaxy 2 are officially coming to the Switch 2, and the bundle clocks in at a cool $150, edging toward $200 once you factor in collector’s editions, amiibo, and whatever random plastic accessory …

An Innocent Gesture with a Dark Twist For more than two decades, fans of Super Mario World believed Mario was simply pointing forward when Yoshi stuck out his tongue. It looked playful and harmless. Mario gave the signal, Yoshi obeyed, and the duo worked together as partners. That illusion shattered in 2017, when Nintendo veteran Shigefumi Hino, the designer who created Yoshi, revealed that the original concept was very different. …

Every Controller I Have Smashed In Rage, Ranked By The Quality Of The Meltdown There are difficult games, and then there are the ones that melt your brain until the only solution is to weaponize the nearest controller. We tell ourselves it’s just a game, but anyone who has stared down Alma in Ninja Gaiden Black, crawled across spikes in Celeste, or been betrayed by the blue shell in Mario …

A Consistent Cutoff Leonardo DiCaprio has built a reputation for consistency in his personal life, and it appears that this rule now extends to his gaming habits. According to sources close to the Hollywood actor, he has officially stopped playing Final Fantasy IX after the game reached its 25th anniversary. Released in 2000 for the original PlayStation, Final Fantasy IX is widely regarded as one of the greatest entries in …

A Garage Sale Becomes a Legal Battlefield What began as a quiet Saturday morning in Saratoga, New York quickly escalated into what some neighbors now refer to as “the day Nintendo declared war on suburbia.” Local resident Robby Thompson held a simple garage sale in his driveway, offering old household items, clothing, and a box of retro video games. One of those games happened to be a sealed copy of …

A Feature Masquerading as a Flaw Since its release in 2017, the Nintendo Switch has been celebrated as one of the most successful consoles of all time. It blended handheld convenience with home-console performance, revitalized franchises like Zelda and Mario, and sold over 140 million units. But along with this success came something else: the infamous Joy-Con drift. What began as a flood of user complaints, characters walking off cliffs …

Premium Pricing, Zero Additions Nintendo has confirmed that Super Mario Odyssey will debut on the Switch 2 with a retail price of $99.99, positioning the beloved platformer not just as a game but as a lifestyle purchase. The new edition boasts no added levels, no enhanced graphics, and no special content beyond a slightly glossier box. According to Nintendo, this was intentional. “We want players to feel that Mario himself …

Ubisoft is proud to announce its most ambitious and inclusive Assassin’s Creed title yet: Rising Sun. Set in 1800s feudal Japan, players will embark on an epic quest for equality and justice as Amara, a trailblazing assassin unlike any before. Amara is a plus-sized, Black, transgender woman who refuses to let her disability hold her back. From her customized wheelchair, she’ll navigate the complex social and political landscape of 19th …

In a shocking turn of events that has left the gaming community stunned, Nintendo has filed a lawsuit against the Johnson family of Bakersfield Indiana, for selling Mario-themed cancer awareness bracelets to raise money for charity. The Johnson family, whose 8-year-old daughter Emma is currently battling leukemia, had been making and selling colorful silicone bracelets featuring Mario’s iconic mushrooms and stars to help offset their mounting medical bills and donate …

Inclusive Insanity: Sweet Baby Inc. Strong-Arms Fighting Game Devs Into Creating ‘Mediocre Kombat’ Sweet Baby Inc., the video game consulting company known for its focus on diversity and inclusion, has consulted with the developers of Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, and more or less forced them to make an all-new game where everyone feels included. “The Mortal Kombat team was already on board, but it took some coercing to get …

Hostage Crisis in the World of Video Game Development In a shocking turn of events, several video game consulting companies have been accused of holding developers hostage and torturing them if they do not agree to add more diversity into their games. Sweet Baby Inc., Hit Detections, and Anita Sarkeesian have been working together in secret to change gaming for the entire world. The accusations came to light after a …

Nintendo Decimates Village After Unauthorized Mario Merchandise Scandal In a shocking turn of events, the tranquil village of Greenburn Grove has been reduced to ashes by the gaming giant Nintendo. The company’s drastic action came after a young resident, 10-year-old Timmy Parker, was caught selling 3D-printed Mario keychains without obtaining the necessary rights from Nintendo. The Incident Timmy, an aspiring entrepreneur, decided to use his father’s 3D printer to create …

Virtual Villainy: Parents Rally Against the Blocky Bloodshed in Video Games In an unprecedented crusade for virtual virtue, the Coalition for the Prevention of Digital Dastardliness (CPDD) has emerged as the world’s last hope against the pixelated plague of video game violence. This valiant group of concerned parents has declared a merciless war on the most nefarious of foes: the sinister square, the diabolical digital denizen, and the catastrophic cubic …

Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth++:  Adventure in Diversity Welcome to the World of Average Gaia: Where Average is the New Extraordinary! Note: this is not just a typical localization. Square Enix Of America is remaking a great deal of the game to reach a “greater audience.” The Western gaming industry took the helm of the cherished JRPG franchise, Final Fantasy 7, and the result was nothing short of… well, ordinary. Welcome …